Viva la Femme
Baron Hawkings Smedley issued his much anticipated Millennia Revelation, titled “A Good Man is Hard to Find!” last weekend. This publication summarizes the status of how the people of the world have fared in the last one hundred years as measured by the major issues of life – things like morality, justice, truth, religion, and the penultimate subject – human relationships.
Baron Smedley’s protocol calls for the gathering of all the behavioral information from every human association, be it kingdoms, dictatorships, democracies, tribes, families, couples, cults – you name it. He aggregates data to such questions as how are people getting along, how are they being treated by their governments and authorities – religious or sectarian. To paraphrase his methodology, he wants to know “Who is doing what to whom and why?”
Once this information has been collated and digested, Baron Smedley issues his findings every twenty-five years, the latest being last week’s publication. But why should anyone pay attention to Baron Smedley and his opinions? Some ill-informed folks think that he is nothing but a windbag. But au contraire, he has long been known as the smartest guy in the room: he has a doctorate from Trump University; he stays exclusively at Holiday Inns; and he has a cabin near Mountain View, AR. What more does a person need?
The following modified list of human interactions, along with a myriad of other similar data, is the basis for Smedley’s analyses and conclusions as presented in A Good Man is Hard to Find!:
1. The ratio of the number of lashes administered to women taken in adultery compared to the number of lashes administered to men taken in adultery.
2. The percentage of orders served on men restraining them from abusing women vs. orders served on women restraining them from abusing men.
3. The ratio of dead-beat dads vs. dead-beat mothers.
4. Ratios comparing men against women in several categories such as arrests for drunken driving, bar fights, road rage incidents, battering children, and church attendance.
These four categories represent a mere shadow of the big picture in human relationships as found throughout the world. The inescapable conclusion from the gathered facts is that women without a doubt are not treated fairly anywhere and everywhere. And worse, contends Smedley, women are utterly devalued and abused by the millions of followers of the so-called “Great Religions” of the world with some so bad, Smedley says it makes him want to puke!
Baron Smedley goes on to say that this universal obscenity, the degree of mistreatment of women, is the most accurate measurement that can be used to evaluate the worthiness of every culture and religion in the world. The more a woman is degraded and treated like chattel by her culture and religion, her God given freedom denied, the further that culture and religion is from goodness, mercy, justice, morality, respect, and the greatest value of all – loving one another.
A truly “Great” religion is one where men and women are equally valued, equally treated with dignity and freedom. My God! Who is it that bears human life for our very existence other than women, our mothers? Who is it that nurtures and sustains us in our helpless infant state? Who is it that passes on God’s love as seen in a mother’s love to the very young? Should this person not be highly honored and respected as being a very precious being and equally valued, if not more so, than a man?
So, there it is. Baron Smedley, once again, challenges us to examine the values of our lives, what we believe and how we behave – to see if we hold to the highest of standards, asking ourselves how we truly value and treat women.