OUT OF BOUNDS By Geary (Smedley) Leason

Smedwick Smedley, the well-known bi-vocational preacher and part-time leading actor, was given an immediate leave of absence from his starring role as the “lame duck” in the upcoming production of the Van Buren Playhouse’s “Quackers.” This hurried action was taken by Rudolph Persnickity, the current director of the Playhouse, in response to the widespread public outrage over comments Smedley made during a radio interview on KFFD last week. It seems that Smedley’s views on the current state of morality in the U.S. were expressed with some crisp words and graphic analogies, offending a few too many folks.

Out of Bounds in its continuing efforts to bring light and fairness to controversial issues obtained a script of the radio interview in question and presents it here for the readers’ consideration:

KFFD: “What is your view of the current moral climate in the U.S. today?”

Smedley: “Well, certainly things are much different today than they were a few years ago. It seems that anything goes these days, especially when it comes to sexual behavior and attitudes. It seems that all the old rules covering this subject have been abandoned. I believe that today’s permissive philosophy is wrong and is already creating a lot of problems for individuals and our society but with much worse to come.”

KFFD: “But, Mr. Smedley, shouldn’t people have the right to do as they please, and especially so, if it is all consensual?”

Smedley: “Let me explain my view using this analogy: When someone buys a new automobile, the manufacturer of the vehicle provides a very detailed manual to guide the vehicle’s operator so that the vehicle performs as it was designed to do. For instance, the manual calls for the proper type of fuel to be pumped into the gas tank and not into the oil sump; similarly, the specified type of oil is to be poured into the oil sump and not into the gasoline tank; not to follow these basic instructions will cause severe, if not total, failure of the vehicle. The manual covers virtually all the systems of the vehicle with explicit instructions with only one purpose: that the vehicle operate as the manufacturer has designed it – to provide safe and reliable transport.”

KFFD: “OK, Mr. Smedley, everybody understands this principle, but what has this to do with our topic of human sexual behavior?”

Smedley: “I believe – as millions upon millions also believe, that God is the maker and designer of all life and in particular, of men and women. In addition, He has also provided a users manual so that his product – HUMANS – can function in the most beneficial way. And specifically, He has given detailed instructions in the area of human sexuality, so that mankind can thrive at its intended best. Briefly, these instructions clearly outline that sex is intended to be between only one man and his wedded wife AND THAT ANY OTHER PRACTICE IS LIKE POURING OIL INTO THE GASOLENE TANK AND THIS DEVIATION WILL ULTIMATELY DESTROY THE FUNCTION AND THE INTENDED PURPOSE OF THE VEHICLE!”

KFFD: “This view seems to be so draconian, so unfair. Can’t you lighten up a little?”

Smedley: “I suggest you take your question to the Author of the Manual and ask Him.”

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