‘The Hick-up From Hell”
Our all-night pool parties were loads of fun; we would eat pizza and drink carbonated beverages until they would come out our nose when we laughed. As usually, a belching contest would ensue. One particular Saturday night I had the winning belch in the form of a gas bubble in my stomach the size of a bowling ball, but I couldn’t let it loose. A couple of small burps were all I could muster. The following morning I pleaded with my mother to let me stay home from church but the doors were open, and I would be there. The two back rows were where all the teenagers sat. I took my usual seat on the center isle at the end of the pew. I still didn’t feel the best so I sat in silence while everyone joined in the song service. Somehow I acquired a case of the hick-ups. On the third “hick” all that pressurized ball of gas burst out in the form of an award-winning belch. The elderly lady in front of me about fainted, I’m sure she thought the devil himself had snuck up behind her and was about to grab her. A small piece of pepperoni lodged in her hair but I was not about to remove it.
I looked around to see if anyone else heard it. Sandy was giving me a dirty look, Peggy gave me a thumbs-up and Bill sitting on the opposite side of the pew held up a piece of paper with the number 10 written on it. Everyone else had their faces buried in their hands. It may have been the most embarrassing event in my life if it hadn’t felt so good to get that gas bubble out.