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OUT OF BOUNDS By Geary (Smedley) Leason

December 23, 2014 By Dan Feuer

A Smedley Christmas Smorgasbord

This is that time of the year when Antonio Moroni Smedley sends his greetings like most folks do – but Antonio’s messages are a little different than just the usual happy greetings, boring details of vacations to Branson and Yosemite, and the latest embellishments about incredibly talented grandchildren. One year Smedley got a card in which the sender claimed that his fifteen year old grandson invented the wheel! (In Smedley’s case, he doesn’t have any grandchildren that come anywhere near qualifying for kudos unless six months in Juvenile Detention counts.) No, Smedley prefers to tell it like it is and he doesn’t hold back on anything or anyone. Here’s what is in Smedley’s card this year:

Rejoice that it is another year above ground, in spite of several near-death experiences.
Give Thanks that the elections swung to the Republicans, halting a mad dash to the Sea of Debt under you-know-who
Send a Gift to Coach ? (rhymes with enema) a big box of red raspberries for leaving his wounded QB in too long in the Missouri game.
May God Bless the authors and the heroes of great books such as Unbroken, The Misremembered Man, and A Long Walk.
May God Forgive the producers of the Bachelorette and The Bachelor and all the other sleazy TV shows so nauseating pervasive these days.
Grant Understanding to the readers of the Fairfield Bay News so that they can grasp the importance of a local newspaper with its very interesting columns.
Do Not Spare those advertising people who create the commercials for State Farm, Liberty Mutual, All-State, and Hartford auto insurance companies, but please spare the Geico guy.
Oh Lord, in Your Mercy please let the Chicago Cubs win a pennant! The Cub fans have suffered almost as long as did the Israelites in Egypt way back when. You kept the Israelites out for four hundred years until You delivered them and gave them a home field complete with a pennant. Do the Cubs fans need to wait that long as well, Oh Lord!
Hallejulah for giving us a dedicated, talented, warm-hearted, and creative mayor – the Honorable Paul the Grant Wellenberger!
Praise the men and leaders of the Ministry of John:3.16 that came to our town to show how God can redeem broken people!
Thanks Be to God for all the people who volunteer in so many wonderful help organizations in our community. Add to this list teachers and preachers, doctors and nurses, CNA’s and all nursing home and hospital workers, clerks at Walmart, Cravens et al, and plumbers who come on holidays.
Enlighten the World with the Gospel of Jesus Christ so that mankind can realize their need for His Love and forgiveness – without which the slaughter of millions will not only continue but grow to total chaos and oblivion.
Merry Christmas from all the 2014 Smedleys – Antonio, Julio, Lorenzo, Rufus, Oliver, Francis X., Ernest, Sylvester, Waldo, Sigmund, Eldridge, Warner, Myron, Chester, Pierre, Clarence, Horace, Anthony, Ebenezer, and (finally) Smedwick!

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Dan Feuer, Editor
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