Sylvester Smedley found himself in a strange predicament with his newly acquired neighbors, the co-residents of a new subdivision located in West Des Moines, Iowa. Sylvester had recently bought a modest two bedroom home in this 117 new home development, Friendly Green Acres, coming from Pottsville, AR in response to a job offer from a large pig farm in nearby Ankenny, Iowa. The Iowa job paid much higher than what his Arkansas pig farm operator paid him as a driver of a pig manure transfer truck.
Sylvester bought the completely furnished model, “Green Doors,” made possible by some very generous financing by HUD. The only expense left to Sylvester was to landscape the spacious front and rear yards so common to housing developments in this area of Iowa. Sylvester chose to go with a rock lawn, making this choice based on his familiarity of rock lawns from his life long dwelling in Arkansas, and also because the lower maintenance costs.
Upon arrival as he pulled his loaded Uhaul into his driveway, Sylvester could not help but notice that his rock-covered yard was the only out of the 117 new homes that did not have a beautiful grass lawn – front and back! This observation raised a high level of apprehension in Sylvester as he was warned- by his uncle, the infamous cranky geezer from Fairfield Bay, AR, that these Iowans were fanatical about every piece of land needing to be covered by the sacred green grass and would take drastic measures to create full conformity to their doctrine. Ernest went on to describe a fanatical cult known as the Divine Kingdom of Heavenly Grass, known to terrorize any non-conforming neighbor.
For the first few days, an apprehensive Sylvester kept a low profile in his new neighborhood, but was even more edgy when he had to park his new employer’s pig manure truck in his driveway over the weekend. But oddly enough that is when his new neighbors started to drop by with cakes and pies, welcoming Sylvester to the neighborhood. Not one word was said about his conspicuous and totally non-conforming rock lawn but rather these friendly visitors were very interested in his honey bucket truck, who he worked for, and did he like the job, etc.
Over the next few weeks, as more neighbors visited almost daily with goodies and invitations for barbeque picnics, Sylvester was developing some very beautiful friendships and soon learned what all these sweet and welcoming people were all about. The fears that Uncle Ernest planted about these “fanatical grass worshipers” dissolved completely. Sylvester now understood why these Iowa folks deeply loved and enjoyed their surroundings of green grass. Why? It was because they were blessed by rich soil, wonderful sunshine, and abundant water supply producing the loveliest plant of all nature – sweet corn!
Friendly Green Acres Smedley learned was once a magnificent corn field as was much of all the Greater Des Moines area. This may even be the reason why beautiful, luxuriant, healthy weed-free grass grows so well here, with years of nutrients enriching the soil creating hardy plants with effective resistance to weeds. For many the grass is seen as a tribute to and a symbol of gratitude to the Creator who has blessed these Iowans with such delicious fertility.
The early settlers here were farmers but now in modern times, their successors are citified, working in insurance and financial businesses so prevalent in this area. But the roots for many of these urbanites and suburbanites go back to their happy times on Grampa’s and Granny’s farm of pigs, chickens, and corn!
As Sylvester’s appreciation and fondness for his neighbors grew, and without any subtle prompting at all by these folks, he decided to replace his rocks with the best Iowa grass, to join in the celebration of God’s gift. Soon neighbors were asking if they could help and within a week, the several tons of Sylvester’s’s rock had been carted off and used in the neighborhood as attractive ground covering for foundations and tree wells.
One final truth emerged: these lovers of grass did not see their labors or monies spent on their grass as drag but as a joy, offering many benefits such as getting much needed exercise, and the thrill of riding a John Deere mower. Sylvester now has one and is truly an Iowan now.
Uncle Ernest Smedley, dismissing Sylvester’s story, is off working to bring “Medical Meth” to Van Buren County in light of the recent raids, drying up supply for a while here.