Libertarian Calls Out Smedley
Last week this column reproduced Geezer Eldridge Smedley’s pamphlet lambasting the current movement in our nation to make marijuana legally available to all citizens as a “recreational” drug. This drastic change has already been put into practice in the states of Colorado and Washington and looks to be on its way in several other. Smedley pointed out that this drug is particularly dangerous to teenagers and young adults as there is convincing evidence that the use of marijuana causes brain damage, mental problems, and cancer; and is often a pathway to the use of even more lethal drugs. Smedley made it quite clear that our nation does not need another brain damaging drug added to the already mile high pile of pernicious, problem-causing drugs such as alcohol, meth, cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, morphine, opium, adderall, LSD, mescaline, PCP, and a bunch more. What really got Smedley’s dander way up is the Big Lie that proclaims marijuana use is relatively harmless and without any serious aftereffects. Hogwash! says Smedley.
The ink was hardly dry when the newspaper’s telephone began ringing off the wall, with callers complaining that Smedley was off his rocker, and that he should be made to retract his intolerant, opinionated trash-talk. One very strong objection came from Dr. (Phd) Brady Glitz, esteemed professor of Phoology at Bats College located in nearby Blanchard Caverns, Arkansas. Dr. Glitz put forth his libertarian ideology which has for its main premise that government should keep its involvement with its citizens to a bare minimum. Glitz said that Libertarians regard liberty as the paramount value in human interaction and that freedom to do or think whatever the individual citizen deems appropriate should have the highest priority. For instance, Glitz holds that all drugs be legal; that gambling and prostitution not be prohibited; that every citizen should have the right to carry a firearm anywhere and at any time; and marriage not be a state sanctioned status – whether straight or gay makes no difference.
Glitz stated that people achieve their highest potential when allowed to make their own decisions and when they are not bound by the dictates of government officials and the countless number of laws all societies are mired in. By decriminalizing such activities as drug use, prostitution, arms bearing, gambling, and pornography, Glitz contends that such a society will have very little need for jails, prisons, and asylums. He argues that if the drugs of choice are available similar to fast foods, then the user will not need to steal money out of his mother’s purse or mug some geezer walking through the park to get the money needed to buy the very high price illegal drugs currently command. The user can set aside a couple of bucks after his shift at McDonald’s and buy a large bag of whatever turns him on. Libertarians foresees the rise of outlets like Drugs Are Us offering free shipping and neighborhood stores like Brothels on Broadway offering specials as “one free for every one bought at the regular price!” Hands off the people! Give ‘em what they want is the libertarian’s motto. With these activities being legal, Glitz promises that “there will be PEACE in the City!” Sounds good: no foul, no harm, no jail time.
“Don’t hang up, Dr. Glitiz!” cried Smedley. “ Don’t you think that if all these “freedoms” are made more easily and cheaply available that an increasing number of people will be attracted to use these drugs and drives, creating a another layer of addicts? Are you oblivious to the power of these so-called “free choices” to overcome an individual an render him totally dysfunctional as an addict? Are you aware that the recovery rate from addiction is 5 maybe 10%, at best, meaning that the harm started is not easily overcome? By ignoring the very real dangers of addiction that lurks in all these “personal freedoms” including marijuana – is to go down a road that surely will lead to very sad consequences .Don’t we have enough ill-functioning people already over-burdening our families and social agencies? And for what! Getting high, drunk, more stupid!”
“Dr. Glitz, isn’t a better society one that teaches and warns, a carrot and stick approach- of the dangers of certain behaviors and one that offers a superior path by encouraging sobriety and morality? Thanks for the call. Bye-bye.”