• Fairfield Bay Resort
  • City of Fairfield Bay
  • Conference Center
  • CobbleStone Inn
  • Organizations
    • Chamber of Commerce
    • Library
    • Senior Center

Lake Area Weekly

Fairfield Bay News

  • Home
  • News
    • School News
    • Business & Govt.
    • Clubs & Organizations
    • Special Features
  • Lake Area Sports
    • Class 2A State 2023
    • Class 1A State 2023
    • About Us
    • Quitman Bulldogs
    • Rose Bud Ramblers
    • Quitman Bulldog Basketball
    • Rose Bud Ramblers Basketball
    • Concord Pirates
    • West Side Eagles
    • Mt. Vernon-Enola Warhawks
    • Shirley Blue Devils
    • Guy-Perkins
    • South Side Bee Branch
  • Sports
    • Sports News
  • Opinions
  • A&E
  • Calendar
  • Obituaries
  • Subscribe
  • Login

Out of Bounds by Geary leason

June 25, 2013 By Dan Feuer

Geary LeasonThe great guru, Raul Smedley, founder and chief brain of the famous Smedley Philosophy and Theology Think Tank (SPATTT), has recently created an instrument that will provide the user a foolproof system to evaluate the worthiness of one’s belief system. In other words, is what you believe, those premises upon which you base your life, actually practiced by you in your everyday life? The SPATTT Truth-O-Meter will give you the honest answer.

A basic understanding of human behavior and action is that every individual has a belief system that guides how they live and interact with others: why they do “this” and not “that”. This guide, our belief system, is always present but operates, for the most part, mainly beneath our conscious surface. Much of what we do and think has been set in place by habit. For instance, when you encounter a friend, you typically issue a shop-worn greeting such as, “Hi! How are you?” and upon departing the words often heard are, “Have a good one!” (whatever that means.)

Under the SPATTT protocol, the question arises, do you really care about how the person is doing? Are you really interested in hearing about their latest litany of aches and pains, the troubles they are having with their spouse or children? And only God knows what you have in mind for your friend when you say, “have a good one?” A good fall? A good BM? A good day at the track? What?

The SPATTT system pins you down to bring in alignment your underlying belief system with your thoughts and behavior: you no longer can get away with insincere cliches or you will be exposed as being a hypocrite or worse, as a big liar. The SPATTT Truth-O-Meter is a tiny computer chip, inserted subcutaneously near the armpit, and a very thin almost microscopic wire similarly slipped into the sinus cavity. It operates on the same principle as a lie detector: when a lie -white or full blown – or an insincere word flows from your lips, a noticeable greenish drip comes down your nose, this drip being very visible to the person you are giving the flimflam to.

Not all people have the integrity or the guts to wear such a device, not willing to be exposed as being less than truthful, or indifferent, or hostile, or flat out dishonest. For instance, cheating husbands, used car salesmen, stock brokers, lawyers, small town newspaper columnists, insurance adjustors, IRS employees – to name a few – would definitely not be interested in wearing the Truth-O-Meter. But certainly, cheated-upon wives, used car buyers, stock investors, scam victims, and many others would be very interested in buying the Truth-O-Meter, not for themselves, but to attach to significant others.

And this is the beauty of the SPATTT Truth-O-Meter in that it can be attached to the intended user without their knowledge. The surreptitious placement is possible only because of the profound space-age technology as engineered by Raul Smedley, beloved metaphysician of SPATTT. Full instructions come with each kit, with discounts for quantities -which should be especially attractive to those folks who travel in a lot of bad company. In addition to the standard model, SPATTT offers an industrial strength model in which the nose dripping comes out a bright pink.

The benefits are quite apparent as, for example, husbands would be staying home more often, helping put the kids to bed and used car buyers would be getting good deals at very reasonable prices. But more than benefitting individuals, all society would benefit beyond the moon as con men, swindlers, crooks, cheats, liars, and many other nefarious people would be easily spotted by their noses dripping pink fluid, warning their gullible pigeons away. O Happy Day!

You can be not just a game-changer but a World Changer! by becoming a Truth-O-Meter Distributor by building a chain of Truth-O-Meter home parties which offer mind-boggling profits. Send or email for this doorway to a better world and a nose-dripping pot of money!

Special Promotions

Links and Resources

  • City of Fairfield Bay
  • Fairfield Bay Community Club
  • Fairfield Bay Marina
  • Fairfield Bay Parks & Recreation
  • Visit Fairfield Bay!
  • Indian Hills Golf Resort
  • Fairfield Bay Conference Center
  • Calendar of Events

The News E-Edition

  • This weeks issue March 29, 2023

Contact Us

Dan Feuer, Editor
Email: [email protected]
Phone: 501-884-6012
Cell: 501-658-0584