OUT OF BOUNDS By Geary (Smedley) Leason

Simple Answers for Big Problems

Myron Smedley, curator of the Ozark Think Tank as housed in the room above the bakery in downtown Leslie, sees himself as a not-so-great, but just an average man, a guy who is not bogged down with academics, agendas, and schemes. He is not dependent on government grants or programs. He does not need to report to rule makers or czars, nor answer to peers. He will not serve on any task forces, commissions, or study groups.. He does not need to clear anything with administrators, regulators, or Congressional oversight committees. He looks at no polls and he has no electorate to answer to. Myron Smedley is a man guided only by his unambiguous common sense.
For instance, Myron has come up with a foolproof solution to a scary disaster looming ahead – the rising sea levels that are threatening to obliterate coastlines on every continent. Myron has not put his head into the sand like some folks that deny that GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE is real and the peril is imminent!. No, Myron has put his mind to this BIG PROBLEM and he has come up with this practical threefold SIMPLE ANSWER as follows:
1. DRINK MORE WATER!
There are seven billion people on this planet and if each one would drink just one more quart of water a day, this healthy practice would reduce the amount of water in the seas by an incredible 1,750,000,000 gallons per day which in turn would lower the sea level by .0001 inches per day or .0365 inches per year or .365 inches over ten years and a problem solved total of 3.65 inches in one hundred years!
2. COLLECT AND SAVE RAINWATER!
Water as rain, snow, or ice falls from the skies after it has been collected by the evaporation process in which the sun draws up vast amounts of water from the great bodies of water on this planet – rivers, lakes, seas, and large oceans. This gathered water is then carried as vapor (clouds) and then released mostly over land, and then after moisturizing all vegetation and filling reservoirs for human consumption, this water ultimately seeps its way back to the seas by way of creeks, streams, rivers, and more evaporation. If this return of the dropped water back to the seas could be limited, then the rising sea level could be reigned (pun)in.
If every living unit in the world – be it hut, tent, or house, would set up a rain barrel and collect the rain as it slides down the roofs, tent tops, and gutters, and then cover the barrel so the collected water doesn’t evaporate, Smedley estimates that a humongous amount of water calculated as follows: one billion households each with a 40 gallon rain barrel filled about four times per year would reduce the ocean refilling annually by 160 billion gallons, lowering the sea level by another inch or two.
3.COVERED POOL IN EVERY BACKYARD!
Adding a covered pool to every backyard, Smedley figures this would take care of the rising sea problem for the next 10,000 years. These pools could be as small as a child’s wading pool or a large as an Olympic 50 meter swimming pool. It would be imperative, however, that these pools be covered as otherwise evaporation would negate any net benefit.
GET INVOLVED!
There you have it, says Smedley – a simple answer to a big problem. And as always, Smedley has dedicated his life to public service and helping mankind wherever and whenever – and all this taking place in the garret above the Leslie bakery! Along this line, Smedley has arranged for you, the good citizen, the person with a concern for the environment and the life of our planet, an opportunity to participate in this endeavor to save our coastlines from devastation. Send for his catalogue that offers – at knockdown prices, all the things you need to be part of the solution: large, designer drinking glasses with the option of having your family name imprinted; rain barrels – custom, in every color to match your house, tent, or hut, covers extra; and pools of every size – plastic, or concrete.
Don’t wait! Supplies are limited! Free shipping! Sale ends Friday! Write today: Smedley Think Tank, 104 Main St., Apt. 2b. Leslie, AR 72051.

Speak Your Mind

*